{"id":433,"date":"2026-04-15T16:55:41","date_gmt":"2026-04-15T15:55:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/?p=433"},"modified":"2026-04-15T16:55:43","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T15:55:43","slug":"week-sixteen-denial","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/2026\/04\/15\/week-sixteen-denial\/","title":{"rendered":"Settimana 16: DINIEGO"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LAYLA:<\/strong>
Il modo migliore per affrontare il Diniego \u00e8 simile a quello espresso per la Disperazione: dare al sentimento lo spazio per esprimersi e poi passare oltre. In fondo, il Diniego fa parte della vita, \u00e8 un istinto umano che ci protegge quando la realt\u00e0 ci colpisce in modo troppo brusco. Ma quando restiamo aggrappati a questo sentimento oltre la sua reale utilit\u00e0, finisce per erodere invece di proteggere (anche se, sul momento, pu\u00f2 essere rassicurante). \u00a0
E questo \u00e8 il punto: proprio perch\u00e9 ci fa sentire bene, \u00e8 facile restarci dentro. Lo abitiamo, ci accomodiamo in questo sentimento e smettiamo di ascoltare la voce interiore che tenta di risvegliarci, di farci vedere che ci stiamo isolando, che non stiamo pi\u00f9 vivendo nella realt\u00e0, ma in un santuario immaginario.
A essere sincera, non sono una persona che tende al Diniego in s\u00e9. <\/em>Piuttosto alla fantasia e alla proiezione, che sono forme pi\u00f9 sottili, pi\u00f9 difficili da riconoscere. Ma il Diniego in s\u00e9 per s\u00e9? No, preferisco sapere la verit\u00e0, per quanto possa fare male. Voglio che mi colpisca una volta sola,<\/em>in modo netto, diretto, senza ambiguit\u00e0. E poi, da l\u00ec, posso iniziare a farci i conti.
Le esperienze dell\u2019infanzia mi hanno insegnato che il diniego non \u00e8 una via di fuga, ma un rinvio: il brutto della vita, prima o poi, ci raggiunge comunque.<\/em> E pi\u00f9 a lungo cerchiamo di sfuggire, pi\u00f9 intenso sar\u00e0 l\u2019impatto quando finir\u00e0 per raggiungerci.
Nella mia vita, il Diniego \u00e8 sussistito per molto tempo in merito alla mia bisessualit\u00e0. Ci sono voluti anni per accettarla davvero, per smettere di liquidarla come \u201cuna fase\u201d e permetterle semplicemente di far parte del mio essere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PATRIZIA:<\/strong>
Mi \u00e8 piaciuto molto leggere il capitolo che Whyte dedica al Diniego, descritto come una dimensione 'sempre presente e inevitabile in una vita umana', 'crocevia tra la percezione e la prontezza.
Il diniego \u00e8 lo scudo momentaneo che mi ha permesso di adattarmi gradualmente alla perdita dei miei cari che, se assorbita improvvisamente e nella sua interezza, avrebbe annientato mente e anima. Il diniego ha trovato in me il modo di coesistere con l'accettazione. Da vero amico, riaffiora quando sento pi\u00f9 acuta la loro assenza e mi permette di credere, per un istante, che potrei vederli ancora sorridere se bussassi alla loro porta.
Il diniego nelle parole di Whyte \u00e8 una 'pelle mutata', un sentimento che non deve essere nascosto con vergogna, ma lasciato in vista per dare conforto agli altri attraverso la condivisione di un\u2019esperienza fortemente umana. Questa consolazione mi ha portato a rivisitare il diniego non come un cunicolo in cui ci si nasconde per debolezza, ma un\u2019emozione misericordiosa il cui scopo \u00e8 servire chi vive la vita in modo empatico e intenso.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BRUNELLA:
<\/strong>Tra tutti i nostri meccanismi di difesa, quello pi\u00f9 complesso \u00e8 il diniego, che implica il rifiuto involontario e automatico di accettare una realt\u00e0 disturbante, destabilizzante.
Ho sempre pensato che sia stato il diniego a salvare mia madre quando le fu data la devastante notizia della prematura, inaspettata, inaccettabile morte del pi\u00f9 giovane dei suoi figli. Un diniego durato per anni, il tempo necessario per poter interiorizzare quella perdita senza impazzire.
Io invece, in quell\u2019occasione, attivai il meccanismo della negazione: pur essendo consapevole della morte di mio fratello, la negavo fantasticando che mio fratello fosse all\u2019universit\u00e0 di Siena e che un giorno sarebbe tornato a casa, e che avrei potuto riabbracciarlo.
Neither my mother nor I went to our beloved Franco\u2019s funeral.
Tra diniego e negazione c\u2019\u00e8 una sottile differenza: il primo si attiva inconsciamente quando si rifiuta di riconoscere un aspetto doloroso della realt\u00e0; il secondo \u00e8 un rifiuto consapevole che vede la realt\u00e0 dolorosa ma la nega. Entrambi esprimono una difficolt\u00e0 nella capacit\u00e0 di valutare correttamente la realt\u00e0.
Di fronte a fenomeni fortemente destabilizzanti, come durante il Covid-19 e i cambiamenti climatici, ecco comparire \u201ci negazionisti\u201d. L\u2019angoscia causata dall\u2019epidemia e la paura delle catastrofi climatiche, anche in questi casi, hanno attivato il diniego come meccanismo di difesa non solo individuale ma collettivo.
Whyte dice: \u201cIl diniego \u00e8 sempre presente, ed \u00e8 persino bello quando \u00e8 visto alla luce dei suoi poteri essenziali e misericordiosi, per cullare e confortare un\u2019identit\u00e0 sino a quando \u00e8 pronta a riprendere il cammino\u201d e conclude: \u201cVivere nel diniego significa essere in ottima compagnia. Il diniego \u00e8 l\u2019incrocio tra la percezione e la prontezza. Negarlo \u00e8 come invitare nelle nostre vite potenze che non siamo ancora pronti a incontrare.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

LAYLA:The key to dealing with Denial is similar to what was said of Despair: allow the state to serve its purpose but then move on. After all, Denial is a natural part of life- it\u2019s a human instinct to shield ourselves when reality crashes in too sharply. But when we cling to it, when we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":274420141,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1368],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"trp-custom-language-flag":false,"newspack-article-block-landscape-large":false,"newspack-article-block-portrait-large":false,"newspack-article-block-square-large":false,"newspack-article-block-landscape-medium":false,"newspack-article-block-portrait-medium":false,"newspack-article-block-square-medium":false,"newspack-article-block-landscape-intermediate":false,"newspack-article-block-portrait-intermediate":false,"newspack-article-block-square-intermediate":false,"newspack-article-block-landscape-small":false,"newspack-article-block-portrait-small":false,"newspack-article-block-square-small":false,"newspack-article-block-landscape-tiny":false,"newspack-article-block-portrait-tiny":false,"newspack-article-block-square-tiny":false,"newspack-article-block-uncropped":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"laylafls","author_link":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/author\/laylafls\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"LAYLA:The key to dealing with Denial is similar to what was said of Despair: allow the state to serve its purpose but then move on. After all, Denial is a natural part of life- it\u2019s a human instinct to shield ourselves when reality crashes in too sharply. But when we cling to it, when we…","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pgXoml-6Z","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":484,"url":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/2026\/05\/06\/week-nineteen-parallels\/","url_meta":{"origin":433,"position":0},"title":"Settimana 19: PARALLELE","author":"laylafls","date":"Maggio 6, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"LAYLA:\u201cWe evolve as much with the parallel as we do with the present.\u201d David Whyte.The crossroads in our past can haunt us or simply invite a few moments of curiosity. How we choose to frame it often depends on our current state of mind. When things aren\u2019t going well, it\u2019s\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "blog"","block_context":{"text":"blog","link":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/pexels-michael-hamments-736237287-37163939-1024x520.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/pexels-michael-hamments-736237287-37163939-1024x520.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/pexels-michael-hamments-736237287-37163939-1024x520.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/pexels-michael-hamments-736237287-37163939-1024x520.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/pexels-michael-hamments-736237287-37163939-1024x520.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/pexels-michael-hamments-736237287-37163939-1024x520.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":386,"url":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/2026\/04\/01\/week-fourteen-beginning\/","url_meta":{"origin":433,"position":1},"title":"Settimana 14: INIZIO","author":"laylafls","date":"Aprile 1, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"LAYLA:This felt like a fitting chapter to choose with a new month just beginning- and a spring one at that. Tiny woodland creatures being born, shoots emerging from the soil, the world stirring from hibernation- ready to bloom once more.Nature seems to welcome these beginnings in a way most of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "blog"","block_context":{"text":"blog","link":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/pexels-cisiq-4782632-1024x569.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/pexels-cisiq-4782632-1024x569.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/pexels-cisiq-4782632-1024x569.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/pexels-cisiq-4782632-1024x569.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/pexels-cisiq-4782632-1024x569.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/pexels-cisiq-4782632-1024x569.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":555,"url":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/2026\/06\/04\/week-twenty-three-forgiveness\/","url_meta":{"origin":433,"position":2},"title":"Settimana 23: PERDONO","author":"laylafls","date":"Giugno 4, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"LAYLA:My relationship to Forgiveness has undergone seismic changes over the years.When I was a child, I was known for bearing a grudge. Those who wronged me would be subjected to hours, even days of silence and scowling.Then one day, life dealt me a devastating blow and revolutionised the way I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "blog"","block_context":{"text":"blog","link":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/pexels-reojuve-16874055-1024x683.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/pexels-reojuve-16874055-1024x683.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/pexels-reojuve-16874055-1024x683.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/pexels-reojuve-16874055-1024x683.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/pexels-reojuve-16874055-1024x683.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/pexels-reojuve-16874055-1024x683.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":191,"url":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/2026\/01\/08\/week-one-test\/","url_meta":{"origin":433,"position":3},"title":"Settimana 1: CONOSCERE SE STESSI","author":"laylafls","date":"Gennaio 8, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"LAYLA:I enjoyed this chapter- it gave a new spin on a well-worn idea (that we can never truly know ourselves). Sometimes I wonder if it\u2019s pointless to even try given that what we\u00a0imagine\u00a0we\u2019re about to become is inevitably pushed aside by who we\u00a0actually\u00a0end up becoming.But then, would a life without\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "blog"","block_context":{"text":"blog","link":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/2151478144-1-1024x394.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/2151478144-1-1024x394.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/2151478144-1-1024x394.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/2151478144-1-1024x394.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/2151478144-1-1024x394.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/2151478144-1-1024x394.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":258,"url":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/2026\/01\/28\/week-five-regret\/","url_meta":{"origin":433,"position":4},"title":"Settimana 5: RIMPIANTI","author":"laylafls","date":"Gennaio 28, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"LAYLA:I found this chapter short, simple and beautiful. 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Regrets in youth aren\u2019t always useful, unless they push us to change how we\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "blog"","block_context":{"text":"blog","link":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/category\/blog\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/balloon.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/balloon.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/30-60-90.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/balloon.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":414,"url":"https:\/\/30-60-90.uk\/it\/2026\/04\/08\/week-fifteen-besieged\/","url_meta":{"origin":433,"position":5},"title":"Settimana 15: ASSESDIATI","author":"laylafls","date":"Aprile 8, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"LAYLA:This chapter particularly resonated because unfortunately it is a state I often find myself in.When I have moments of calm with no projects on the go, instead of enjoying my time I panic and get stuck in unhelpful thought loops. 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